The Resurrection & Islam (3)

2)  How the Islamic Swoon Theory would work if it were it true:

Jesus is blindfolded, mocked and severely beaten by the Roman soldiers.  He is then scourged severely by the whip and a crown of thorns is placed on His head.  Then Jesus is led out and a ~100 pound (45 kilogram) cross is placed on His back to carry.  Already being exhausted from His prior beating, He nevertheless carries the cross up until He at one point even collapses under its weight.

Once Golgotha (i.e. the place of the skull) has been reached just outside of Jerusalem, Jesus is crucified.  While on the cross, He is even pierced on the side with a spear by a Roman soldier. There is an issue of blood and water.  However this is not a big deal.  All that happens to Jesus is a non-life-threatening pleurisy.[1]

At some point the nails on the legs and hands, the crown of thorns, the spear wound, the wounds from the scourging, the blood loss, dehydration, the gasping for air and just simply the sheer exhaustion from it all take their toll on Jesus and it becomes just too much for Him to handle, so much so that He – well He faints.  No, He does not die, He just simply faints.  Seeing this, a Roman soldier comes by later on to break Jesus knees to speed up His death and instead gets fooled into thinking that Jesus has died already and so does not break them.  However, Jesus has only had a fainting spell.[2]

At some point, while Jesus is out cold, some of Jesus’ followers figure out that He has only fainted and has not died.  On the other hand all the Pharisees, Sadducees, the Roman soldiers, the crowds, the passerby’s, and even the Apostles do not figure this out.  They are totally fooled.  They think that He really died.  So they take Jesus down and place Him in a tomb.

Not too long after this, Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea go to the cave and apply some miraculous ointment on Him which enables Jesus to heal over a period of 40 days.  This miraculous ointment is known as the Marham-i-Isa (i.e. the Ointment of Jesus).  The revived Jesus then goes out and meets up with his disciples and others.  They of course are surprised and think that He has been resurrected.  As a result, they go around proclaiming to everyone that Jesus has been resurrected.  This of course is not true.  They are mistaken.  Jesus however does not bother to correct them.  Even though He has been correcting and rebuking them of their sins and errors for the last three years, now for whatever reason, He does not bother to correct them of this egregious error.

A new chapter begins now in the life of Jesus.  As the church has started to grow and his followers increases in number, He decides to leave the area for He now has a new divine mission from God.  His new mission is to go to India and search for the lost tribes of Israel.  So He goes to Kashmir, India and settles down there.

What happens to Him then in Kashmir is a great mystery. Here, He basically disappears from history.  Even though He lives there till the age of 120, there are hardly any records of His further deeds and activities there.  While all kinds of ink has been spilled noting His life and deeds in Israel, nothing much is detailed about his ~84 years in India.  There is no record of healings, miracles, teachings, etc.  He basically leads an uneventful, un-impactful, forgotten existence.  It is quite a pathetic and anti-climactic end.

The Western Swoon Theory is far more eventful.  I am going to add that also.  We might as well take a quick look at that for completeness sake. A case can be made that Mirza Gulam Ahmad’s version is based on the Western version.

[1] Normally (i.e. unlike the Ahmadiyyan account) this would indicate that the lungs have collapsed, that asphyxiation has resulted and that there has been heart failure. See “On the Physical Death of Jesus Christ” by William D. Edwards, MD, Wesley J. Gabel, MDiv, and Floyd E. Hosmer, MS, AMI in the Journal of the American Medical Association, 255(11):1455-1463, 1986

[2] Note: For the Roman soldiers ensuring that death took place was a very serious duty.  If a Roman soldier ever let a criminal escape or failed to execute someone on death row, it would be his life for the criminals.  So it was very important for them to see to it that Jesus did die. Take a look at Acts 16:22-35. Why do you think the jailer wanted to commit suicide?